Interests:reading, writing, and differential calculus Expertise:"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe."
--Richard Gere, to The Guardian (UK), June 2002
My husband decided that today we should clean off all the flat surfaces we've been letting stuff accumulate on for the last several months (*cough* years *cough*)--surfaces like bookcase shelves, tops of bookcases, tops of dressers, desks, etc. So that is how we've spent our Saturday thusfar.
Several hours later, I must say that the flat surfaces on the bookcases, the dressers, and the desks look pretty freaking good.
The flat surfaces known as "beds" and "floors," on the other hand--not so hot.
And guess what I'm doing? I'm going to a party without my husband.
I was just listening to a talk show where they were talking about what you should talk about on a first date. The host said he's observed that most people talk about stuff like their favorite movies and foods and junk, and he thought that wasn't very useful for getting to know a person and whether or not you were compatible because you don't have to have the same taste in movies or food or whatever to have a good relationship with someone. So why waste time on such trivialities instead of talking about deeper and more meaningful issues, which information will be more useful to determine the advisability of further dates?
That seemed reasonable enough to me. But then I tried to remember what my husband and I talked about on our first date, and I couldn't for the life of me recall what kinds of things we talked about, let alone what was said. My husband might be able to remember more than I do. He doesn't remember much, but he does remember odd things that I don't.
I do remember that we both admitted that we were nervous. In fact, I may have said something about wanting to throw up, which I suspect is on the list of things NOT to talk about on a first date, but here I am thirteen years later, married to the dude I was going to throw up on, so what do the experts know?
We went to a movie, which is also another no-no for a first date because you don't have the opportunity to talk to each other during a movie. Unless you're the type of rude person who does talk during movies. See, it does afford you the opportunity to find out if the other person is a rude movie-talker, or perhaps you will discover that you're both the type of person who likes to yell stuff at the movie screen. Perhaps you will have your own Mystery Science Theater 3000 experience and bond over that. So that just goes to show that going to the movies is not such a useless first date after all. You should also probably go to a comedy, because if the person has an annoying laugh, you'll want to find that out sooner than later.
Sugar Daddy and I did not go to a comedy...unless you consider an Al Pacino documentary about Shakespeare's Richard III a comedy. It does seem kind of ludicrous in retrospect. Then afterward we went to Denny's. We must have talked at Denny's. I just don't remember about what. Then we had a snog on my front porch. Yeah, I know. Ew. Well, it got me a second date, didn't it? (Not that I recommend this sort behavior to young ladies. I'm just saying.)
Now that I think on it, I can't remember us really talking about anything of substance until after we were engaged. That doesn't seem quite right, does it?
What we should have done was talk about what comic strip character we were and what person we would add to Mt. Rushmore and desired super powers. Ice breakers, you know. But we were young and foolish then. We're old and foolish now.
What about you all? What did/do you talk about on a first date? What should people talk about on first dates?
If you could be any superhero and have super powers, which one would you like to have and why?
I think I would choose invisibility because I enjoy hiding from people. And by "people," I'm talking about my children, because I'm already more or less invisible to the rest of the world, as I sort of blend into the woodwork everywhere I go. The kids always find me, though. Being invisible around the children would really help with the whole "hiding" thing.
But on second thought, if they couldn't find me, they'd just start screaming for me. I suppose in addition to being invisible, I'd need the superpower where you can't hear anything. Except I think that's called "deafness." I don't want to be deaf. I just don't want to hear my kids screaming. Or anyone screaming. Of course, I'd make a pretty poor superhero if I couldn't hear anyone screaming. Hmmm. Must rethink these superpowers.
So if I'm going to be a superhero--I mean, that is the question: "if you could be a superhero"--the sense of hearing will come in handy. Unless I developed some sixth super-sense that informed me whenever someone was in need. I think I wouldn't even mind knowing when someone was in need of juice, as long as I couldn't hear them screaming for it. If I could just be aware of needs without hearing screaming, specifically--hearing laughter and music and babbling brooks is okay--that would work for me.
But now that I know there are people in need, I'm still going to need some super-skills to help them, aren't I? I'm not sure invisibility is really what I want in this case. I should probably go with super-strength or super-speed or elasticity. I'm thinking about Elastigirl now. Elasticity is a very useful talent, especially for a mother. I think it will bring me the most bang for the buck. Assuming I'm paying for these powers and they're not just some random gift from above. Even if they are a gift, I could use that "bang for the buck" expression metaphorically.
Actually, I think my life and the lives of others would be infinitely more blessed if I just developed some regular old human powers, such as "patience" or "industry" or "perseverence" or "getting off the internet and doing something useful with one's life."
Oh, and pull-backs off the toe. If I could do pull-backs off the toe, I'd be set.
Mount Rushmore honors four U.S. presidents: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt. If you could add any person to Mount Rushmore, who would you add and why?
Personally, I think I'd take Roosevelt down. No offense to him, but he's kind of funny looking. I've always thought he added a "one of these things is not like the other" vibe. Maybe I'd replace him with John Adams. Not because he's any better-looking, but where would the United States of America be without John Adams? That's right. Also, when was the last time someone made a hit musical out of Teddy Roosevelt's political career? That's what I'm talking about.
The question says I can add "any" person to Mt. Rushmore, but if I were to go with a non-president, I'd probably choose a woman because if I don't, who will? That's right. Maybe I'll add four, so things are perfectly balanced. Is there enough rock for that?
My top choices are Susan B. Anthony for women's suffrage, Clara Barton for the Red Cross, Harriet Tubman for the Underground Railroad, and...Clare Booth Luce because she wrote good plays and also fought the Commies.
Needless to say, if I were going to going to add a comic strip character to Mt. Rushmore, I'd choose Snoopy. He could lie on top of everyone's heads like they were a doghouse.
I've decided that I'm going to try harder with this blog. Why? Because it's easier than cleaning the house, which is the other thing I do poorly. My problem of late has been that I just don't know what to write about. Current events are either a) depressing or b) need no further comment or c) both a and b. Seriously, what can you say about Ft. Hood? It's tragic, and how, exactly, was it not prevented? It's not like the guy didn't give folks plenty of warning that he was psychotic and/or evil. I don't get it. Okay, you see what I mean. That's not very interesting, is it? If you want to read about stuff like that, you'll read the news, won't you?
So what do you want to read about? Answer: Wait, what do I care? I started this blog so I could write about whatever I felt like writing about, and if I don't feel like writing about anything, maybe I should just stop writing. But wait! If I did that, I'd have to start cleaning the house and paying attention to the children. Now you see why the blog must go on. And yet, I still have nothing to write about. So what do I do? I decide to look up some ice breaker questions on the interwebs--because, you know, I've been here for five and a half years, but I still feel like you all don't really know me that well. Ha ha, that was a joke. But seriously, this is all I've got, so I'm just going to go with it.
The ice breaker question of the day is this: "If you were a comic strip character, who would you be and why?"
At first I read this as "If you couldbe a comic strip character, who would you be and why?" and I thought, "That's easy. I'd be Snoopy because he's cool and he does whatever he wants." But the question isn't about which comic strip character you'd like to be, but which comic strip character you are (metaphorically speaking). That is a bit harder for me to answer because I like to think I'm a bit more complicated than a comic strip character. Ha ha, that was another joke. No, the reason it's a harder question, of course, is that I don't think I'm going to like the answer. I mean, one thing's for sure: I'm NOT Snoopy. Number one, I'm not cool. Number two, I only try to do what I want sometimes and usually fail, and most of the time I don't even try because I think I'm probably going to fail. Say what you will about Snoopy's moral deficits, but he is not plagued by similar concerns.
You probably think you know where I'm going with this. You think I'm going to say I'm Charlie Brown, because Charlie Brown is a loser. But Charlie Brown is an optimistic loser. You've got to hand it to him. He doesn't have much in the way of self-confidence, but he still goes out there and does stuff. He doesn't give up hope, even though he knows he's a loser. Part of him, deep down inside, thinks that someday things are going to be different, that someday he'll win. He never learns, that Charlie Brown. He's kind of like me that way. Crap. I really don't want to be Charlie Brown.
You know who I wish I was? Linus. Linus is my favorite (of the human Peanuts characters). Yeah, he walks around with a blanket and sucks his thumb, which I'm not saying I want to do, particularly (although it has a certain appeal, some days), but he's really the moral anchor of the strip. He's the only one who knows what Christmas is all about, if you dig my meaning. I admire Linus. Even his faith in the Great Pumpkin is admirable, from my perspective. Faith saves the intellectual from nihilism. Yeah, it's delusional, but it's not dangerous-delusional. (Aside from cheating Sally out of tricks or treats, which, if you think about it, was really her own fault. You want to sit in the pumpkin patch with your boyfriend all night, at least be woman enough to own that choice. I'd like to think I'm not like Sally.)
All this reminds me that I took a Facebook quiz that told me what Peanuts character I was, and you know what the result was? Woodstock. Which is really the best possible result because who is Woodstock? What does he stand for? Nobody knows. He only speaks bird language. And he looks exactly like all the other birds in the strip. Which one is the real Woodstock? Are they all Woodstock? Was Woodstock cloned at some point? I don't know. What I do know is that Woodstock is whatever you want him to be. That's what I'd like to be, too.
No, wait, it's not. But apparently it's what I am because the Facebook quiz said so, and you know those quizzes are SCARILY ACCURATE.
And now it's your turn, gentle readers. Which comic strip character are you? Which would you like to be?
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